Rage Cleaning and Hoping for a Catalyst

Look, I don’t know what kind of vacuum I fell into this week, but I’ve been obsessively listening to every podcast, YouTube deep-dive, and news recording I can get my hands on about this Epstein mess. When I say obsessive, I mean like every. spare. minute. Folding laundry? Epstein. Making tea? Epstein. Supposed to be writing emails or, I don’t know, being a functioning adult? Nope. Epstein. And maybe it’s because I’m furious, and maybe it’s because my heart is breaking, and because somewhere deep down I’m still clinging to this stubborn hope that all of this exposure might be a spark that brings people together. Because what I’m seeing, through the avalanche of corruption and the gut-punch tragedies, is a story that should unite us, if only we could stop yelling long enough to try.

So here’s the part that gets me absolutely fired up, I mean I’ve been rage-cleaning-the-baseboards level pissed: people keep saying this one girl killed herself, and I’m sorry, she did not take her own life. She’d already survived a hit-and-run just months before, someone literally tried to take her out and failed, and then she posted publicly, basically saying, “If I end up dead, I didn’t do it.” And what happens? She ends up dead. In her home. After everything. She had two little kids, she was rebuilding her life, and the world just shrugs like, “Oh, another tragic suicide.” Are you kidding me? She was a street kid with no safety net, and now she’s just another whispered name in a broken system. And that’s why I keep thinking this can’t just be another thing we forget. This has to be a turning point. When you strip away the noise, the politics, the headlines, what’s left is this raw, aching truth: we owe these girls more. We owe each other more..

And then there’s this cascade of new weirdness, truly head-scratching, plot-of-a-HBO-drama type stuff. Epstein’s lawyer suddenly drops dead in his home. Old guy, sure, but right before he was supposed to have a sit-down, let it all out interview? And Ghislane, yeah, she’s in prison, but from everything I’ve gathered, her situation’s not exactly redemptive. Then there’s her dad, Robert Maxwell, full-blown arms dealer and literally laundering for the elites, allegedly working for foreign intelligence, who even knows anymore. Like this whole thing is just one giant Russian nesting doll of sleaze. And meanwhile, Wexner, the Victoria’s Secret guy, handed over his entire estate to Epstein with full power of attorney. Why? So he could claim plausible deniability if/when it  hit the fan? I mean, it’s so bananas, it makes you wonder how many people were in the game and how many just handed over the keys to the kingdom hoping no one would look too closely. You can’t even make this stuff up.

So how do we come together, when it feels like the whole world is designed to distract us, disturb us, and  keep us apart? For me, it comes down to this: we are being played, manipulated, and strategically divided. And it’s not by accident. There’s this propaganda machine, running on overdrive, that knows exactly how to exploit us, especially us  emotionally-driven folk. We get shoved into these neat little boxes and pitted against each other, and meanwhile the actual monsters, the ones flying to secret islands and laundering money through lingerie companies, keep doing whatever they want. But here’s what I believe: if we could just see that we’ve been manipulated, and truly wake up to it, then just maybe we’d stop yelling across the fence at our neighbors and start climbing over it with some soup and a flashlight. Because at the end of the day, no sane, loving person, red state, blue state, no state, wants to live in a world where children are brutalized. Period. And maybe that’s where we find each other again. Right there. At that unshakable truth.

It’s about standing up for what you believe in and not making sacrifices just because you’re afraid. I get it, we all have bills and responsibilities, and it’s easier said than done. But if you can’t do it immediately, you can make incremental changes that steer you in another direction. Because honestly, when we stay in places that are hurting people just for the paycheck, we’re enabling broken systems. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. People don’t have to quit their jobs overnight, but it’s time to pay attention. Like realizing your energy, your focus, your time, their currency. And if you’re putting that into something you don’t believe in, you’re basically giving that power. Why would you do that? The whole paycheck every two weeks thing? You’re loaning your time and energy, to further their agenda, and then they give you a carrot at the end of the day to keep you coming back. And health insurance is another shackle in this country, forcing people to stay because they can’t afford to pay a premium. It’s a real, ugly trap. Not to mention, the dollar is worth less, your paycheck the same, while the cost of goods and housing skyrocket? I really believe the way forward is community. Like creating cooperatives, health co-ops or health provider networks you trust, extended family childcare, food sovereignty, like shared gardening and animal stewardship, where you have a say and can leave if it doesn’t feel right. I know it sounds idealistic, but if we want real change, that’s how it starts.

Here’s an example: Kat Smith, from Wings & Willow Farm in California. She’s a mature woman, her adult daughter is traveling in Europe, and she just started this farm on her own. She raises pigs and ducklings, grows watermelons and sunflowers, among an abundance of other fruits and vegetables, and posts these little videos on Instagram where she just talks straight from her heart, “This is the great American cowgirl at her farm”. She is so genuine, so grounded, and she’s not trying to be famous or have a ton of followers. She’s just doing what matters in her little community. That’s exactly the kind of life we need more of, people living close to the earth, connected to the land and each other, making a life that’s real and sustainable.

And I really believe we’re at this pivotal, humbling moment where we’re learning how to stay again. Stay in the hard conversations, stay in discomfort, stay in relationship. Because for the past 50 years or so, American culture has been running hard in the direction of hyper-individualism—me, my truth, my brand, my path, my peace. And that’s not inherently bad, but what it’s left us with is a whole lot of people who don’t know how to handle even the tiniest bump in the road. Like, we’ve forgotten the muscle memory of community. Conflict comes up, and instead of leaning in, we ghost. Or we passive-aggressively withdraw. Or we slap on a smile and back slowly out of the group text. I’ve done it too. I mean, I remember when my sisters and I were raising our babies together, these sweet toddlers would bump heads or bite each other or throw a toy, and suddenly our own insecurities as moms would flare up like a rash. We’d all be trying to protect our kid and our egos at the same time, and it got weird fast. But underneath all that was just fear. And a lack of tools…maybe a deep longing to trust that we could stay  and still be loved. That we could mess up, work through it, and come out stronger. I think our whole culture is craving that now, how to stay together.

I think what it really comes down to is choosing, day by day, to stand for what we actually believe in. Not in some grand, dramatic way, but in the small choices and deciding not to pour our energy into systems, jobs, or individuals that actively harm others or ourselves. Of course, we all have bills and need to eat, but we can shift slowly, like steering a great ship until we find ourselves pointed in a direction that aligns with our soul. So let this be the reminder: read the book. Write the poem. Paint the picture. Hug your sister. Cook for your neighbor. Remember what it means to be human. We don’t need more media panic or political posturing. The tide will rise, and they’ll be yesterday’s news. We need carrots in the dirt. We need chickens with mended wings. We need to hold hands with each other.