Rage Cleaning and Hoping for a Catalyst 7/30/25

Look, I don’t know what kind of vacuum I fell into this week, but I’ve been obsessively listening to every podcast, YouTube deep-dive, and news recording I can get my hands on about this Epstein mess. When I say obsessive, I mean like every. spare. minute. Folding laundry? Epstein. Making tea? Epstein. Supposed to be writing emails or, I don’t know, being a functioning adult? Nope. Epstein. And maybe it’s because I’m furious, and maybe it’s because my heart is breaking, and because somewhere deep down I’m still clinging to this stubborn hope that all of this exposure might be a spark that brings people together. Because what I’m seeing, through the avalanche of corruption and the gut-punch tragedies, is a story that should unite us, if only we could stop yelling long enough to try.

So here’s the part that gets me absolutely fired up, I mean I’ve been rage-cleaning-the-baseboards level pissed: people keep saying this one girl killed herself, and I’m sorry, she did not take her own life. She’d already survived a hit-and-run just months before, someone literally tried to take her out and failed, and then she posted publicly, basically saying, “If I end up dead, I didn’t do it.” And what happens? She ends up dead. In her home. After everything. She had two little kids, she was rebuilding her life, and the world just shrugs like, “Oh, another tragic suicide.” Are you kidding me? She was a street kid with no safety net, and now she’s just another whispered name in a broken system. And that’s why I keep thinking this can’t just be another thing we forget. This has to be a turning point. When you strip away the noise, the politics, the headlines, what’s left is this raw, aching truth: we owe these girls more. We owe each other more..

And then there’s this cascade of new weirdness, truly head-scratching, plot-of-a-HBO-drama type stuff. Epstein’s lawyer suddenly drops dead in his home. Old guy, sure, but right before he was supposed to have a sit-down, let it all out interview? And Ghislane, yeah, she’s in prison, but from everything I’ve gathered, her situation’s not exactly redemptive. Then there’s her dad, Robert Maxwell, full-blown arms dealer and literally laundering for the elites, allegedly working for foreign intelligence, who even knows anymore. Like this whole thing is just one giant Russian nesting doll of sleaze. And meanwhile, Wexner, the Victoria’s Secret guy, handed over his entire estate to Epstein with full power of attorney. Why? So he could claim plausible deniability if/when it  hit the fan? I mean, it’s so bananas, it makes you wonder how many people were in the game and how many just handed over the keys to the kingdom hoping no one would look too closely. You can’t even make this stuff up.

So how do we come together, when it feels like the whole world is designed to distract us, disturb us, and  keep us apart? For me, it comes down to this: we are being played, manipulated, and strategically divided. And it’s not by accident. There’s this propaganda machine, running on overdrive, that knows exactly how to exploit us, especially us  emotionally-driven folk. We get shoved into these neat little boxes and pitted against each other, and meanwhile the actual monsters, the ones flying to secret islands and laundering money through lingerie companies, keep doing whatever they want. But here’s what I believe: if we could just see that we’ve been manipulated, and truly wake up to it, then just maybe we’d stop yelling across the fence at our neighbors and start climbing over it with some soup and a flashlight. Because at the end of the day, no sane, loving person, red state, blue state, no state, wants to live in a world where children are brutalized. Period. And maybe that’s where we find each other again. Right there. At that unshakable truth.

It’s about standing up for what you believe in and not making sacrifices just because you’re afraid. I get it, we all have bills and responsibilities, and it’s easier said than done. But if you can’t do it immediately, you can make incremental changes that steer you in another direction. Because honestly, when we stay in places that are hurting people just for the paycheck, we’re enabling broken systems. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. People don’t have to quit their jobs overnight, but it’s time to pay attention. Like realizing your energy, your focus, your time, their currency. And if you’re putting that into something you don’t believe in, you’re basically giving that power. Why would you do that? The whole paycheck every two weeks thing? You’re loaning your time and energy, to further their agenda, and then they give you a carrot at the end of the day to keep you coming back. And health insurance is another shackle in this country, forcing people to stay because they can’t afford to pay a premium. It’s a real, ugly trap. Not to mention, the dollar is worth less, your paycheck the same, while the cost of goods and housing skyrocket? I really believe the way forward is community. Like creating cooperatives, health co-ops or health provider networks you trust, extended family childcare, food sovereignty, like shared gardening and animal stewardship, where you have a say and can leave if it doesn’t feel right. I know it sounds idealistic, but if we want real change, that’s how it starts.

Here’s an example: Kat Smith, from Wings & Willow Farm in California. She’s a mature woman, her adult daughter is traveling in Europe, and she just started this farm on her own. She raises pigs and ducklings, grows watermelons and sunflowers, among an abundance of other fruits and vegetables, and posts these little videos on Instagram where she just talks straight from her heart, “This is the great American cowgirl at her farm”. She is so genuine, so grounded, and she’s not trying to be famous or have a ton of followers. She’s just doing what matters in her little community. That’s exactly the kind of life we need more of, people living close to the earth, connected to the land and each other, making a life that’s real and sustainable.

And I really believe we’re at this pivotal, humbling moment where we’re learning how to stay again. Stay in the hard conversations, stay in discomfort, stay in relationship. Because for the past 50 years or so, American culture has been running hard in the direction of hyper-individualism—me, my truth, my brand, my path, my peace. And that’s not inherently bad, but what it’s left us with is a whole lot of people who don’t know how to handle even the tiniest bump in the road. Like, we’ve forgotten the muscle memory of community. Conflict comes up, and instead of leaning in, we ghost. Or we passive-aggressively withdraw. Or we slap on a smile and back slowly out of the group text. I’ve done it too. I mean, I remember when my sisters and I were raising our babies together, these sweet toddlers would bump heads or bite each other or throw a toy, and suddenly our own insecurities as moms would flare up like a rash. We’d all be trying to protect our kid and our egos at the same time, and it got weird fast. But underneath all that was just fear. And a lack of tools…maybe a deep longing to trust that we could stay  and still be loved. That we could mess up, work through it, and come out stronger. I think our whole culture is craving that now, how to stay together.

I think what it really comes down to is choosing, day by day, to stand for what we actually believe in. Not in some grand, dramatic way, but in the small choices and deciding not to pour our energy into systems, jobs, or individuals that actively harm others or ourselves. Of course, we all have bills and need to eat, but we can shift slowly, like steering a great ship until we find ourselves pointed in a direction that aligns with our soul. So let this be the reminder: read the book. Write the poem. Paint the picture. Hug your sister. Cook for your neighbor. Remember what it means to be human. We don’t need more media panic or political posturing. The tide will rise, and they’ll be yesterday’s news. We need carrots in the dirt. We need chickens with mended wings. We need to hold hands with each other.

Stepping Into the Sun 4/25/25

Embracing My Magic, My Quirks, and the Power of Slowing Down so that we rise together

Lately, it feels like I’ve stepped into the sun.

There’s a new kind of confidence in how I’m showing up in my business and in the world. For so long, I felt like I had to present myself a certain way—polished, strategic even. I was “masking” to a degree. Being self-employed, the business world can sometimes make you feel like authenticity is a risk, even in the holistic healing field. But something has shifted for me through InnerAlignment training. The pressure to perform, or fit some outdated mold, has started to lift. In its place, I feel freedom, space, and realness. I’m not trying so hard anymore and I’m not contorting myself into someone else’s version of “professional.” I’m just... being me, and what’s wild is that it feels like the world is actually ready for that. It’s like a wave is coming, calling for authenticity, for quirkiness, for truth. I can feel the gears of the collective starting to connect, like we’re entering a new chapter—and for once in my life, my idiosyncrasies aren’t something to hide. They’re the key.

What I used to see as “too much” or “not enough” are now the traits that propel me forward. With what I’m learning, quirks are no longer framed as liabilities—they’re becoming my superpower. My magic. It’s like everything is aligning, all the things once holding me back are actually the very things making this next chapter possible because they deepen my empathy and allow others to feel safe in who they are, too. Integration—that’s what this moment is about. Rather than force my way forward, I’m allowing the foundations to find a natural rhythm. The building blocks are falling into place, and not because I’m pushing them, but because I’m trusting the process. When the next step reveals itself, I’ll take it—not out of pressure, but from a place of alignment.

One of the biggest revelations I’ve had recently in my training is around neurodiversity. Through the coursework, I’ve been learning about the autism spectrum, ADHD, and the broader spectrum of neurodivergence—and I’ve realized just how much I resonate with some of these experiences. According to a recent Huffington Post article, The 9 Biggest Signs of Autism in Adulthood, “Symptoms of the condition vary from person to person, but there are a few feelings and habits to note”. While reading through the article, things from my past that once felt like struggles or misfit moments made more sense. I also learned that diversity within the neurodiverse community is greater than among Allistic people with so-called “typical” brains, and this new information has opened up windows for me—not just in understanding myself, but in how I can support others.

Every family, every person, is different. There’s no one-size-fits-all. But there are patterns, there is wisdom, and there is power in making sense of it all for yourself. Through my own lived experience and this growing knowledge, I feel equipped to hold space for others navigating their unique journeys. So this is where I’m at, or what I’m honing in on, and where I aim to help others lean into: no more hiding, no more rushing. I’m giving my quirks space to be. I’m slowing down enough to truly integrate. I’m letting the sun hit my face and trusting that who I am—not in spite of, but because of all my layers—and this is exactly what this moment, this world, needs.

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Have I piqued your curiosity? Is something resonating with you? I’ll expand a bit for those of you who yearn for more. 

I’ve always known that my brain works differently, though it took me a long time to fully understand what that meant. For most of my life, I felt like I was constantly swimming against the current—always a few steps behind, always struggling to fit into a world that wasn’t designed for me. I’ve often wondered if this sense of being out of sync had something to do with being neurodivergent, a term that I didn’t know the full definition of until recently. Growing up, I was sometimes labeled as “difficult” or “sensitive” or “odd.” I didn’t think like others, and often, my thoughts and behaviors made me feel disconnected. It wasn’t just in social settings or academics. There was a deep, almost subconscious sense of being separate, as if I wasn’t allowed to fully inhabit the world like everyone else. The pressure to conform to the “norm” weighed heavily on me. I spent so many years of my life trying to mold myself into something I wasn’t just so I could fit in, and yet, no matter how much I tried to change, I was always just a little bit out of step with the world around me.

But through my healing and my trainings, something has been shifting. I realized that my way of thinking—my different way of processing information—wasn’t something to be fixed. It is  part of who I am, and in fact, it could be a gift. Slowly, I began to understand that being neurodivergent isn’t a flaw. This realization, didn’t happen in a vacuum. It coincided with a much larger shift happening in the world around me—a paradigm shift, in fact. I’ve started to see how the way we’ve been living, individually and collectively, simply isn’t working anymore. More and more people are waking up to the truth that many of the systems we’ve been following—social, economic, environmental—are outdated and harmful. There’s a growing realization that in order to move forward, we need to break away from these rigid structures and embrace a more fluid, more inclusive, and more authentic way of living. People are awakening to their true selves and finding the courage to embrace their uniqueness. It’s as if a collective shift is happening, and more and more individuals are realizing that they no longer have to conform—they can simply be who they are. I’ve recognized the importance of breaking free from these limiting structures—both personally and collectively. As I step into my authentic self, I realize that we, as a collective, are on the verge of something incredibly powerful: a new way of being. It’s a paradigm shift that invites us all to rise to our full potential, to reject the outdated systems that keep us in a state of disconnection, and to embrace the fullness of who we are.

It’s in this space of awakening that I found Qi Gong. Bear with me here, I know Qi Gong is a niche modality in the western world, and at first, I didn’t know much about it. But I was drawn to the practice because it felt like a bridge between this new way of thinking about the world and my own experience of living in a body that didn’t always feel in alignment. Qi Gong offers a way to connect deeply with my body and my energy in a way that feels healing and transformative. I first studied Qi Gong through a basic online course at Yoga Farm, a program designed to teach the foundational principles of this energy work. I didn’t know much about it at the time, but what I did know was that it seemed to be a way of understanding my energy and my body and my relationship to the world and others. Through Qi Gong, I began to learn how to tune in to my body’s rhythm and energy, how to release the tension I’d been holding onto, and how to align my breath with movement in a way that felt almost like a homecoming. As I continued with this practice, I chose to deepen my study under the guidance of Seraphim, a teacher at the Oriental Healing Arts School in Anchorage, where I  began to explore more Qi Gong sequences. It was through these teachings that I started to really understand the power of energy movement—not just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. Qi Gong gave me the tools to connect with my inner self in ways that felt incredibly healing, a practice that grounded me while simultaneously opening me up to new possibilities. Qi Gong can be a tool to manage the complexity of being neurodivergent. It’s not just about physical movement—it’s about energy alignment and mindfulness. Through this practice, we can navigate the overwhelm that often comes with living in a world that seems to  cater to one way of thinking. It’s become a bridge for me, helping me connect with myself and the world around me in a more balanced and healthy way.

Lately, teaching Qigong has been this amazing love fest—every time I walk into the space, it feels like people are just craving the opportunity to slow down and really tune in. It's pushed me in the best way, reminding me how much I love this work. I've also taken a deeper dive into the science behind it, and it’s been blowing my mind. Qigong was originally developed by a Chinese military general whose soldiers were falling ill, so he created these movement forms to help them heal—and it worked. Now, modern research is catching up, especially around breathwork. Most of us breathe from the chest because we live in a near-constant stress response, but Qigong trains you to breathe from the belly, which totally changes your physiology. It shifts your blood pH, supports calcium balance, increases oxygenation, and boosts mitochondrial energy production dramatically—from something like 2 units of ATP in a stress state to 32 when you're relaxed and breathing properly. That’s a massive difference in energy output. And it’s not just physical—it helps you clear old trauma, so you're no longer stuck in reactive patterns. You stop needing to control or mask, especially for folks who are neurodivergent. It calms the fight-or-flight response, but it also liberates energy that was trapped in those trauma loops, giving you back access to your full life potential. I’ve felt that shift myself. Even with sleep—like people who are depressed might sleep ten hours and still wake up exhausted because their bodies are stuck in shutdown. This work can unlock that energy again. It’s powerful stuff, and yeah, I’m definitely planning to keep teaching. My goal is to start regular classes in town by September or October.

But I want to bring this back to the collective, because as I’ve deepened my practice, I’ve also seen how it connects to something much larger: the connectedness of humanity, which is also going through its own shift. There’s a growing sense of awakening, an urge to break free from outdated structures, systems, and beliefs that no longer serve us. More and more people are embracing their unique selves, stepping away from conformity, and finding ways to live authentically. This shift feels like a rising tide, a collective raising of vibration, and we need meditative practices to support and sustain this growth. I was discussing this with my friend, Cassandra, who is an artist, poet, healer, and consultant. She reminded me of the “Hundredth Monkey” phenomenon or Morphic Resonance (read more here)—a theory derived from observations of groups of monkeys that seemingly evolved to utilize tools at the same time in different parts of the world, it suggests that once a certain number of individuals reach a tipping point, their actions will ripple out to affect others, creating a profound collective shift. I see this happening now, as more and more people are beginning to step into their power and embrace their differences, much like I’ve been learning to do myself. The more we align with our authentic selves, the more we shift the energy of the world around us. Cassandra also drew a connection to The Conference of the Birds, an ancient Sufi allegory that follows a group of birds on a journey to find a mythical king who is said to hold the solution to all the world’s problems. Each bird represents a different human trait—whether a virtue or a flaw—and along the way, they face various inner trials like doubt, fear, desire, love, and reflection. In the end, the birds reach a palace only to discover that the king they were searching for is not a separate being, but a reflection of their own true selves. The story becomes a powerful metaphor for collective self-realization and the idea that true transformation must happen together—as a species—mirroring the concept of a paradigm shift, like the hundredth monkey effect or the coordinated movements of birds or schools of fish.

And to that point, Qi Gong offers a powerful tool for individuals and in group settings, whether through personal practice or in community, the energy we create together amplifies our individual healing. The more we engage in these practices, the more we align with a higher frequency—one that values authenticity, balance, and compassion for ourselves and others. Ultimately, this journey of understanding neurodivergence, embracing it, and discovering the practices that support my growth has taught me that we are all part of this great awakening. Each step I take toward embracing my uniqueness—whether through Qi Gong or other practices—moves me closer to a more aligned and fulfilled version of myself. And as we each make these shifts, we raise the vibration of humanity as a whole. The more we learn to embrace ourselves, the more we create space for others to do the same. Together, we are building a more compassionate, understanding world, one step at a time.

Feel and Process 3/24/25

Over the last few months, through meeting with clients, deeper InnerAlignment training, and leading workshops, I’ve been revisiting how emotions that are often labeled “negative”, like fear, anxiety, anger, and sadness offer valuable lessons. When we lean into these emotions and listen deeply, they become our guides. And when lightness, joy, or playfulness arise, we follow that too—embracing whatever feels true in the moment. It’s about aligning with the body’s cues and trusting that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.

As a healer, I remember that even though I’ve made great strides, there’s always more to clear. We all carry lingering energies and unresolved feelings that need attention. While I’ve done extensive inner work, healing is never a one-time fix—it’s a lifelong process of growth and evolution. I’ve learned that when I’m in a space of expansion, whether with a client or in my own life, I remain vigilant, clearing out stagnant energy before moving forward. Healing isn’t about reaching a final destination; it’s about continuously refining the process.

I constantly check in with myself: Is fear guiding this, or is love? If fear is the driver, true transformation can’t occur. This is the work I do: I create a space where love is the leader. The beauty lies in meeting people exactly where they are and then guiding them when they’re prepared to take the next step. Healing requires courage, and sometimes that means gently challenging someone to step out of their comfort zone and trust their intuition. That’s where the magic happens—when love leads the way, even in the face of fear. We can’t rush anyone into transformation. If someone isn’t ready to dive deep, they simply won’t, and that’s okay. It’s not about pushing someone to change before they’re ready, but creating a space where they can grow, where anything is possible.

Once this process is understood, healing can be accelerated. Unlike traditional therapy, which often progresses more slowly, sometimes endlessly revisiting problems and stories about the past, my approach is action-oriented. We focus on addressing the energy that keeps you stuck. This is where somatic healing comes in: shifting the energy in the body around challenges as they arise, releasing blockages, and rewiring the brain for positive growth. It’s intense, dynamic, and focused on forward momentum.

A recent experience with my daughter served as a humbling reminder of the potency of this work. She struggled for months with an energetic block related to someone she cares about. I guided her through a Feel and Process session, and to my astonishment, she nailed it! She went deep, felt all her fear, and experienced a somatic release. She described it as though a weight had lifted and the energetic blockage dissolved. That moment reminded me of how powerful this work is—not just for adults, but for anyone willing to heal. The transformation was extraordinary.

This experience reinforced that healing is for everyone, regardless of age or circumstance. It’s not about avoiding the hard stuff—it’s about stepping into it, feeling the discomfort, and trusting that the other side holds something beautiful. As I continue to clear my own blocks and deepen my practice, I’m amazed at how much more I’m able to hold space for others. The more I heal, the more I can help others do the same.

Healing is not just about clearing past wounds; it’s about creating space for love, joy, and connection. It’s about the magic that happens when we show up for ourselves and others with open hearts. Each step, each release, each transformative moment builds a solid foundation of trust and love. It’s in these moments—whether with clients, with my daughter, or within myself—that I truly feel the power of transformation. Healing is messy, beautiful, and incredibly worthwhile. The more I heal, the more I can support others in doing the same.

For a long time, I struggled with the idea of "selling" my services—a roadblock many healers face. I feared people would feel pressured or that they couldn’t afford what I offered. Over time, I had an epiphany: the work I do is deeply transformative. It creates opportunities for profound change, reducing the time someone spends fighting against “negative” emotions because they learn to work with them instead. When someone is ready to take this leap and invest in their own growth, it’s an act of self-love, and I’m honored to guide them.

At the end of the day, I know the work I do has real value. The more I continue to heal myself, the more I can help others do the same. As I continue to hold space for others, I also commit to holding space for myself—clearing what I need to clear, staying open, and letting love lead the way. This isn’t just a job, it’s a calling, and I’m grateful for every opportunity I have to continue learning and growing. Whether working with a client or witnessing my daughter’s growth, I’m constantly amazed by how powerful the healing process can be.